As Finland prepares to join NATO, all the residents of Moominvalley are arming themselves to the teeth.
Quizzed about their state of readiness should the Red Army invade, Moominspokesman said, ‘We’re like a snowy Viet Cong. Moominpappa now wears an ammo belt of grenades and is an expert with shoulder launched RPGs. Moomintroll, Snork Maiden and Snufkin can all assemble and disassemble an AK47 while blindfolded. Moominmamma’s handbag is full of knives and throwing stars. She can silently dispatch an entire platoon, whilst whispering ‘The horror, the horror’ like Brando.’
Moominspokesman continued, ‘It is imperative we preserve our Finnish values like heavy metal, Nokia 3210s and racing drivers. If those Russians try anything we’ll send them to Hell’s inky depths.’