Between children, work, and generally being a shitty person, life can feel impossible. Here are signs you are experiencing parental burnout.
You’ve Measured Your Kid To See If They Can Fit Into A Safe Haven Box Outside A Fire Station
You’ve Measured Your Kid To See If They Can Fit Into A Safe Haven Box Outside A Fire Station
The box is meant for babies, but maybe it could work with a little maneuvering.
You Regret Abducting Your Children Altogether
You Regret Abducting Your Children Altogether
It doesn’t make you a bad parent if you regret snatching those kids from the Target parking lot and raising them as your own. It just means you need to carve out some more time for self-care.
You Occasionally Express Frustration About Some Of The More Difficult Aspects Of Parenthood
You Occasionally Express Frustration About Some Of The More Difficult Aspects Of Parenthood
This is actually not just a sign of parental burnout but a sign that you are unfit to be a parent and never should have had children in the first place.
Takes You Longer To Jump In Front Of Bullet
Takes You Longer To Jump In Front Of Bullet
It used to be instinctual. You still do it now but only after carefully weighing the pros and cons.
Decreased Public Sex Drive
Decreased Public Sex Drive
Hormonal imbalances can lead to you wanting to get busy in changing rooms and airplane bathrooms less and less.
Your Child Catches You Texting Other Kids
Your Child Catches You Texting Other Kids
This is pretty clearly betrayal and a sign that your parenting has lost its spark.
Forgetting To Pick Up Child From Soccer Practice For Weeks
Forgetting To Pick Up Child From Soccer Practice For Weeks
And when you finally do remember, you drive real slow to savor those last few moments without them.
The Child’s Screeching For Flesh Gives You A Headache
The Child’s Screeching For Flesh Gives You A Headache
Try building a support network of other parents raising bloodthirsty abominations.
The Kids Have Started Referring To The Dog As ‘Dad’
The Kids Have Started Referring To The Dog As ‘Dad’
You should be the one walking your children to school every morning.
Refusing To Drive Child To School Even If Sexy Teacher Out Front
Refusing To Drive Child To School Even If Sexy Teacher Out Front
You used to savor the possibility of glimpsing Mr. Odom, but now you’d rather just kick your kid out of the house to catch the bus.
You Love Your Child More Than Anything In The World
You Love Your Child More Than Anything In The World
Whoa, you’re hallucinating now.
You’re Just Kind Of Letting Your Children Commit Crimes Now
You’re Just Kind Of Letting Your Children Commit Crimes Now
Honestly, it’s nice that they’re finally doing something together.
You Screamed, “That’s It, Another Word And You’re Grounded!”At Your Boss
You Screamed, “That’s It, Another Word And You’re Grounded!”At Your Boss
You’re supposed to be saying this in your head, not aloud.
Your Kids Like You
This should never happen if you’re parenting at your best.
You Frequently Google ‘Where Is Casey Anthony Now?’
You Frequently Google ‘Where Is Casey Anthony Now?’
It’s fun to check in on your favorite celebrity once in a while, but twice a week might be a bit unhealthy.
Having A Moment When You’ve Parked In Your Garage But Haven’t Turned Your Car Off Yet Where You Think, ‘What If I Just Ran?’
Having A Moment When You’ve Parked In Your Garage But Haven’t Turned Your Car Off Yet Where You Think, ‘What If I Just Ran?’
Actually, this one is normal.
You Become Grateful For Your Parents
You Become Grateful For Your Parents
Right when you get thankful for your parents, that’s when you know you’re facing ultimate burnout.
You Have Been A Parent For Longer Than Two Hours
You Have Been A Parent For Longer Than Two Hours
There’s pretty much no avoiding it if it’s been this long.
