PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – Reports from The Vox Populi News Agency state that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is getting flakier, stupider, and more assholistic than ever.
Palm Beach Police officers Burke Clippcastle (Badge #900456) and Eldon Flagalino (Badge #900827) pulled Trump’s 2019 Kia Sorento over and sited him for having an expired driver’s license.
The Trumptard, who reeked of cheap Scotch told the officers that he should not be given a ticket because (1) He’s white. (2) He’s entitled as shit, and (3) He was once the best president in the history of the entire Milky Way.
Officers Clippcaste and Flagalino, informed the racist whoremonger if he knew that he was totally nude. Trump told them that he was not aware because not only had he been drinking a little, tiny, itty, bit, but he had also taken some unknow substance which he thinks may have been Peruvian Marching Dust.
SIDENOTE: Trump was released from custody after ex-girlfriend Marjorie Taylor Greene posted a $27,000 bond.
