WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – According to White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, President Biden, who is a big NFL football fan, has just asked Detroit Lions quarterback Colin Kaepernick to be his official sports advisor.
POTUS called up Kaepernick and informed him that the new White House position will not interfere at all with his NFL career, plus he will have access to the White House swimming pool and the Minnesota Fats Commemorative Billiard Room, not to mention the WH kitchen.
Colin reportedly told the much-loved and respected president, that he would be honored to accept the position of official White House sports advisor.
The Big K, as he was nicknamed by his mama, stated that he loves the fact that he is back in the NFL, and that he’s making TV commercials for Diet Dr. Pepper, Rice-a-Roni, and glow-in-the-dark Paul Bunyan Brand Condoms.
Colin also noted, with a huge smile on his face, that the evil cheddar-face complected Trumptard is now simply nothing more than a “Has-Been,” who is trying fucking hard to become relevant again, but he is failing miserably.
Meanwhile, the Big K states, smiling from ear-to-ear, “Like they say in El Paso, Texas, – Tough titty – said the kitty!”