MUCHO CALIENTE, California – (Satire News) – The California Dept. of Ethics has just arrested a man living in Oxnard for selling forest fire insurance to Archie and Agnes Timtonwax, 84 and 80, who live 147 miles from the nearest tree.
The Flickerbots told an investigator for the CDE, that a man who said his name was Bubba Cornwallis, talked them into purchasing $800,000 worth of forest fire insurance on their simple home, which is appraised at $95,000.
Agnes and Archie both said that it sounded like a damn good deal for only $312.98 a month.
When told that their home is located in the desert and at least a three-hour drive from the nearest forest, they shook their heads and replied that Mr. Cornwallis sounded like such a nice, caring, compassionate man.
Agnes said that he gave Archie a 2023 calendar, and an erasable pen, and he gave her a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, and a tube of vaginal cream.
SIDENOTE: Cornwallis said that he will gladly return to the Flickerbots their first month payment of $312.98, as well as their new account opening fee of $2,000.