KISSIMMEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The local PBS affifilate, Channel 89½ is reporting that a citrus grower has discovered an adult coconut tree growing in his tangerine orchard.
The orchard owner, identified as Satchel Pennyfixx, 76, told Channel 89½ that as he was peeing in is orchard the other day, he noticed a very unusual sight.
Satchy, as his wife, Carla Belle, 81 calls him, said that he noticed a full-grown adult coconut tree right smack dab in the middle of his Tangerine grove.
Pennyfixx got one of the coconuts and he split it open. And low and behold to his surprised surprise, he saw that the coconut had no milk, but it did have a significant amount of cocaine.
He quickly called Channel 89½, who told him that they want the cocaine-filled coconut story to go national, international, and world-wide.
SIDENOTE: The FBI is looking into the matter to ascertain if perhaps a Guatemalan drug cartel may have something to do with the new cocaine-filled coconut trees.
