HEAT WAVE, California – (Satire News) – The largest taco chain franchises in the nation, and in fact in the entire solar system, has just made a stock-raising announcement.
Taco Bell spokesperson, Paco Vistalarga-Waywater, 51, told the assembled food media that Taco Bell has signed an agreement with Chinese leader Xi Jinping, which will allow the taco chain to open up 400 Taco Bells in the Republic.
Vistalarga-Waywater, no relation to the Vistalarga-Waywater family of Mississippi, said that Taco Bell will operate in China under the name Taco Ding Dong.
He noted that the Asian restaurants will feature Diet Fortune Cookies, as well as chopsticks instead of forks.
SIDENOTE: The U.S. and China have agreed that all of the chain’s French fries will come from Idaho, all the meat will come from ranches outside of San Antonio, Texas, and all of the hot, spicy salsa will come from Tijuana, Mexico.
