WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – America is experiencing it’s worst drought in the history of the nation.
President Biden has decided to turn to an individual that he heard about from Las Vegas entertainer and part Native-American Wayne Newton.
“Mr. Las Vegas” as everyone calls him, has always claimed that he is 38% Irish, 37% Scottish, 13% Mohawk, 9% Pawnee, and 3% Hunkpapa Sioux.
In fact Newton lives in a Las Vegas mansion that he named Casa Teepee, which has over 40 rooms; including 8 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, and what he calls The Sitting Bull Sitting Room.
President Biden says that the rain dancer will be on call 24/7 at a salary of $185,000 a year.
SIDENOTE: The Navaho rain dancer, who is now officially part of Biden’s cabinet is named Johnny Jimmy Dancing Buffalo