LAREDO, Texas – (Satire News) – The average summer temperature in Laredo, Texas is 106.
But thanks to the Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, the city on the US-Mexico border just saw 27 inches of snow fall on the town on the Rio Grande River.
Laredo Mayor Pedro Ignacio Saenz, Jr., who will turn 72, in October says that he has never seen nothing like this. He said that he and his wife “Bunny” counted no less than 800 snowmen, snowwomen, snowkids, one transsnowoman, and even a snowmatador.
He noted that children who had never seen snow were crying, pets were going crazy, and older folks were saying things like “What da shit?” “Hey dis ain’t Green Fucking Bay, Wisconsin” and “You know snow doesn’t go bad with a side of pico de gallo hot sauce.”
Luckily the city had borrowed a snowplow from Austin, which helped to clear the Interstate 35 corridor.
One ex-military gentleman, who had served in Alaska back in 1961, said that he had never seen so much snow. He added that he had actually forgotten how damn good it actually tastes.
SIDENOTE: The Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, died just north of Mexico’s Sierra Madre Mountains.