NASTY NOOK, Kentucky – (Satire News) – Daily Dirt reporter Stormy Coin traveled over to the backwoods town of Nasty Nook, which is home to devoted NRA supporters, Billy Bob and Rita Jo Flucksuk.
The two are not only kissin’ cousins, but they are also husband and wife. The redneck, gun-loving, cornbread eating, and possum-hunting couple live in a 1957 single-wide trailer, that Rita Jo’s daddy, Bobby Earl Titstreet, built with his own two hands and feet.
Also living in the trailer is Rita Jo’s younger sister, Lola Jo, who at last count had a total of 27 tattoos, 14 of which she personally tattooed on herself using a fountain pen, some blue ink, and piece of burlap.
The trio all love hunting (needless to say), chewing the shit, clogging, fishing, and throwing leftover cornbread at each other.
When the threesome was asked how they felt about all of the bullshit that the Trumptard has put out of late regarding the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, Billy Bob said that all three agreed that their handsome hero is as innocent as a two-day old bitch puppy.
Lola Jo says that when she turns 17, she wants to find a nice, hairy, tobacco-chewing, moonshine-drinking, bowlegged “Bubba” to sweep her off her feet, take her out in the woods, and boink her until the cows, the goats, and the sheep, all come home.