Born on the wrong side of the tracks, his single unwed mama popped him out in an alley, then she disappeared … forever … (possibly swallowed by the Republican Party) … he didn’t ask to be born, but since he was, he vowed to find his mama and get revenge on anyone who loves to abort babies.
He is … L’il Fetus!
[Cue groovy 70s funk soundtrack]
He’s one badass mutha who will take down anyone with a hanger, a vacuum cleaner, or who just has really long thin fingers.
John Law doesn’t condone his methods, but they can do nuthin’ about it since Roe v. Wade got overturned.
“Stop playin’ by your own rules, L’il Fetus,” says the Chief of Police.
“Don’t tell me my business, Chief, I wasn’t born yesterday … oh, shit yeah, I was.”
L’il Fetus … he takes care of his bitches.
“Yo, Shawanda, where’s my money, bitch? Daddy needs a clean diaper!”
You don’t want to piss off L’il Fetus. He’s packing heat and lookin’ as cute as a button!
Coming soon to a theatre south of the Mason-Dixon line … L’il Fetus.
He’ll never get aborted – he’s older than six weeks, and soon all the States in the Union will be protecting his right to keep it real!
“Don’t nobody move,” says L’il Fetus as he points an open-carry .357 Magnum. “It’s nap time!”