YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK – (Satire News) – National Forestry Dept. Rangers are diligently searching for four stolen Yellowstone Park grizzly bears.
Ranger Tyler W. Munch, 87, said that he has been charged with investigating who the hell took the adult grizzlies who are as mean as hell.
The long-time ranger said that in his 60 years as a park ranger he has never heard of anyone stealing grizzly bears.
He has seen lots of moose, elk, bison, antelope, and a few porcupines stolen, but never huge, adult grizzlies.
Munch, told Mimosa Sabrosa with The Alpha Beta News Agency that when the thief or thieves is/are caught, and if they are still in one piece, they will be arrested and fined.
SIDENOTE: The National Forestry Dept. takes any kind of animal stealing very serious, but full grown grizzly bear stealing takes the fucking cake, the damn pie, and the bitch biscuits.