MANCHESTER, England – (Satire News) – The Mancunians of Manchester are thrilled as their Red Devils team has just signed one of Mexico’s best football players.
The striker named Antonio Mercurio Balcazar, is only 16, and he is already regarded as one of the top three soccer players in all of Latin America.
“Tony” is the cousin of Man U’s superstar Chicharito, whose nickname means “Little Pea.”
Antonio Mercurio Balcazar’s maternal grandmother Greta Gina Mucha, nicknamed Tony “Chicharonsito,” which in English means “Little Pork Rind.”
“Chicharonsito” was the star of his high school team in Guadalajara, Mexico, The Pancho Villa High School Bandits, who finished the 2022 season with a won-loss record of 29-0.
Tony set the Republic of Mexico record for most goals scored in a single regulation game (8).
Guadalajara’s morning newspaper, El Mira, reported that Chicharonsito’s last two goals were scored while he was blindfolded.
SIDENOTE: Man United owners, the Glaze brothers, Joel and Avram, informed the sports world, that they have signed “Chicharonsito” to a contract that will make him the highest paid player on the Red Devils team.