EDINBURGH, Scotland – (Satire News) – The beautifully delightful country of Scotland, which has been described as peaceful, romantic, beautifully green, celtic, and poetic has made it known that the lying likes of one Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump are NOT welcome.
Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon made it abundantly clear that if old “Lard Belly” Trump dares to set even one of his tiny girlish feet in her beloved country, she will have him immediately arrested, tossed in jail, and made to stand trial for unlawful trespassing, as well as being an unwelcomed predatorial asshole.
The Great Scott News Agency has even gone as far as to say that Jumbo Trumpo, who has ballooned up to 341½ is about as welcome to “Alba,” as Adolf Hitler was during the “Big War,” (World War II).
Meanwhile, when word got back to Trump, he reportedly sulked, pooched out his lower lip and replied “Let me say this about that. I have never even heard of Nicola Sturgeon, The Great Scott News Agency, Scottish Porridge, Stormy Daniels, Stovies, or Scotland.”