DETROIT – (Satire News) – In late-breaking sports news, The Detroit Daily Divulger newspaper is reporting that the major owner of the Detroit Lions, Martha Firestone Ford, has decided that the Cachatelli family must sell their 27% ownership in the team.
Ms. Ford, stated that the reason for her insistence is due to the overwhelming comments, views, and opinions, of the Lions fans, who simply do not like that the underworld Cachatelli family has over one-fourth ownership in the team.
Marty, as Lions head coach Jim Caldwell calls Ms. Ford, said that she spoke with the head of the Cachatelli mob.
She remarked that Vinnie Cachatelli was not a happy camper by any stretch of the imagination.
Vinnie told Ford, that he knows for a fact that crime families in Chicago, New York City, Miami, and Cleveland are partial owners of sports teams.
SIDENOTE: Ms. Ford thanked Mr. Cachatelli for his input and she suggested that he take his monetary share of the team, which amounts to $82.5 million, and invest it in another professional sports team, or maybe perhaps invest it in the McDonalds Corporation which everybody knows is a golden arches GOLD MINE!
