Ivana Trump has been laid to rest on Donald Trump’s golf course. Someone dug a pit, threw her body in, then dropped a plaque reminding every golfer who she once was. She is buried in New Jersey, the joke state of the USA.
“Under the state of New Jersey tax code, any land dedicated for cemetery purposes is exempt from all taxes, rates and assessments.”
And just like that, Trump turns his golf course into a cemetery! Genius!
(She died by falling down a flight of stairs. Curiouser and curiouser … and Jeffery Epstein and John McAfee died by suicide in a jail cell … hmmm …)
Melania couldn’t be reached for comment, though one of her assistants has confirmed that the former first lady does NOT play or even like golf. And she already has a burial plot chosen for herself in Slovenia.
The “Trump Foundation for Golf Burials” has stated that burial plots have been reserved for himself and all his other wives and each one of his children.
“They will be buried on my golf courses because they’re the greatest places to be buried anywhere in the world, and everybody loves me and Rudy wants to be buried and all the people who worked for me and who are now in jail – I’ll bury them too, not to worry. Jeffery Epstein is on one of my Caribbean courses, and Ghislaine will have her plot too, as long as I don’t get the order to have her whacked, and to all my MAGA supporters, if you want to be buried on one of my courses, you have to pay the fee of one million dollars for a basic plot, and it goes up from there to a billion for one of the exclusive mausoleums with satellite TV and Netflix, in case the hitman just grazed you and you’re not quite dead.”
WOW, what an offer! So if you have a million bucks rotting away in a sock drawer and you have no idea where you want to get eaten by worms when you die, try Trump’s Burgers – shit, no sorry, that restaurant uses only 100 percent beef or beef-like substitute.
This story was about dying and getting buried, but ends as an ad for suspicious burgers.
What a crazy world we live in! And then die in!
Rest in Peace, Ivana … you married the bastard billionaire and became a tax write-off, what did you expect?