WARWICK, England – (Satire News) – Warwick Castle was built in 1068 by William The Conqueror. The medieval structure was constructed using stone, rock, mortar, and reconstituted ravioli that was imported from the Hey Guido Valley of southern Italy.
41-year-old Billy, as his relatives, close friends, and grade school teachers called Will the Con, originally built the humongous castle to impress his then extremely sexy Icelandic girlfriend Mistalina Pullashinki, 24, who reportedly had the finest looking tits in all of Iceland.
Misty, was unimpressed, and she did not hesitate to tell Billy that she had seen bigger moats and longer drawbridges back in her neighborhood in West Reykunturvak.
The Warwick was sold in 1491, to a wealthy beer distributor from Tottenham, England, Sir Buford F. Door, of the very rich Tottenham Doors.
Then several years later, it was sold to King Fachaca Poom, 92, of Saudi Arabia, who built the largest camel stable in all the United Kingdom in the castle’s backyard.
SIDENOTE: Recently The Warwick had been condemned by the UK Condemnation Corp. due to the fact that government inspectors had found a serious Cambodian Non-Chirping Beetles infestation. But good old Lady Warwick, as Queen Elizabeth refers to the 954-year-old castle, is now back in service.
