Thursday, 21 October 2021
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Doctors have been warning Donald Jonathan Trump for over 10 years that if he did not stop his incessant, never-ending lying, it would soon affect his tongue.
And according to News Blues reporter Velveeta Maracas it FINALLY has!
Trump’s personal physician Dr. Yang Fu Fi, reports that after an astounding 30,000-plus lies, the Trumptard, as he was nicknamed by Don Lemon, has literally worn out his orange-colored tongue.
The good doctor, who was born in Shanghai, China, where in 2013, he was voted The 2nd Best Physician in China, has been informed by animal-to-person tongue transplant expert Dr. Felicio Bob Heindick, 74, that he has decided to give DJT a tongue from a female beaver.
Dr. Heindick stated that American female beavers found in Oregon have the biggest, strongest, and sexiest tongues of any animal in the entire animal kingdom, including the Gabon Viper, the Great White Shark, and the Rwandan Rhinoceros.
Velveeta Maracas asked Dr. Heindick, if Trump will still be able to continue his non-stop lying when he receives his new tongue.
Dr. Heindick giggled and said that Trump will have to keep quiet for 48 hours, but after that he can resume his fucking lying to his heart’s content.