Mr Blair, appearing in a basque and suspenders, admitted to misleading the UN and killing thousands, but denied making any such tape. This is despite, grainy night-vision footage showing two men blundering around in the Middle East, dressed in fetish combat gear.
Sir John Chilcot interrupted his inquiry, to spend time with an aging gym sock. A spokesperson said: ‘Yes, one of the men adopts a coquettish yet supplicant poodle-pose, while being abused with a soiled copy of the US constitution. But there’s no evidence that’s Mr. Blair. The only people getting shafted are the Iraqis’.