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"I'm Too Attractive To Be Dated" - Young Woman Seeks Advice

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By Erika John - - 5 Mins Read
Sad young lady sobbing on a balcony
Photo | Shutterstock

What happens when your biggest assets become your biggest obstacles?

When the very qualities that make you stand out become the reasons you're overlooked?

For this teenager, she always felt that being beautiful was synonymous with being popular and the most attractive girl in school.

However, as she delved into the world of dating, she began to realize that her physical appearance might be the very thing standing between her and finding true love.

The boy she's interested in seems to be intimidated by her looks, worried that he won't be able to match up to her standards, despite being just as smitten with her.

She said on Reddit: “I've liked this guy in my year for a bit, started in December and went until March, I told him that I liked him in the past in April. He said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, and that he had a small crush on me in September but saw me more as someone he could be friends with, and that I could do better.”

 

“Fast forward a few months, we become closer friends, and one day, we walk to the train together from school. He tells me he thinks I'm attractive. Three more months, and we start texting a little more. He tells me, "Ngl, if you were less attractive, I would've dated you in a heartbeat." I asked him what he meant, and he said that he thinks I'm basically a ten, with the personality of an ideal partner.”

Also read: 15 Sure Fire Signs You Might Be Dating an Insecure Man

 

Excited young couple taking a selfie
Young couple | Shutterstock

 

In response to his compliment, she said, “I was very flattered by this, and honestly, I think I like him again. However, it also left me very confused. I'm just trying to figure out what he's saying, "If I knew you couldn’t do leaps and bounds better, I would love to date you.”

The post garnered attention, with other users offering advice and leaving their comments.

One reader said, “He feels like you are way out of his league. He’s probably insecure about the way he looks and would feel like it would be a disservice to you for you to date him. If you want to be with him, you’ll probably have to show that and initiate. Sounds like he’s into you, he’s just not confident in himself.”

Also read: 15 Really Attractive Photo Examples to Include in Your Dating Profile

Another person commented, “When someone tells you they would date you if you were a lesser version of yourself, that is a red flag. In a healthy relationship, that person is encouraging and motivating you to be the best version you can be, and to be the best version of themselves for you”

 

For another reader, the best bet was to call it quits and move on. “At your age, it's best to try to move on. People aren't projects and you'll both be setting poor precedents for yourselves if you keep trying," wrote the person.

His insecurity isn't your issue to solve, and you're only setting yourself up for trauma and unnecessary emotional baggage--speaking from experience,” they added

As the teenager's dilemma resonates with many, we wonder: Can we truly separate physical attraction from meaningful connection?

Or is it time to redefine what we find attractive in the first place?

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